The man I lost my virginity to didn’t know I was a virgin. It feels like a cliche now – he was 9 years older than me and I thought I was in love. Of course now I’m well aware that he was using me for sex and wasn’t in love with me, but at the time it felt much more serious. One of the main things that bothers me, looking back at the experience, is that the sex was so unsatisfying (and even painful at times). Because he didn’t care about me on an emotional level, and because he was an asshole, he didn’t treat my body with respect or focus on my enjoyment at all. And because it was my first sexual experience, I didn’t know any better — I thought that was how it was supposed to feel. Since then I’ve had partners who do care about me, my comfort, my pleasure. There really is no comparison.
-22, SF, Female, Cat lover